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Yuck.

  • Jan. 26th, 2010 at 4:01 PM
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I purged again...
I feel disgusting.
Washing down the puke breath.
Ew.
I feel disgusting.
I feel disgusting.
I feel disgusting.

FUCK...
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so sick

  • Jul. 21st, 2009 at 11:14 PM
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so sick of feeling fat all the time,
so i'm doing something about it,
diet diet diet diet diet
burn the fat
erase the chub
excercise, no supersize
getting rid,
of this shit
feeling so alive, a win
now on my way to getting thin.
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Britney Spears Obsessed?

  • Mar. 13th, 2009 at 10:22 PM
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I have over 1,500 plays on last.fm of Britney Spears!!! i am too obsessed.

and lady gaga is a godess!
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hot n cold

  • Dec. 7th, 2008 at 7:21 PM
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 ugg..another sick day. NO PATIENCE to binge and purge today. No ounce of energy to do any of that shit. I JUST WANT CONTROL! I can't seem to get it, so i just want to die.

---_---__---_---_--- fuck everyone whoever called me fat

i know that this illness will probably kill me but...i can't stop. IT SUCKS MAJOR ASS!

i'm sick with a really bad cold: i'm achey, i'm tired, and i have a headache! 

LIFE SUCKS.

plus. with show choir this week i'm going to have absolutely no lfie whatsoever.

Tomorrow I perform at lunch time.
Tomorrow I have a play practice til 5
Tomorrow I have show choir practice from 8-10

MY LIFE BLOWS...I NEED TO STUDY MY TRIG!
!! i'm going to fail that class if i don't whip my ass into shape. 

i'm going to wallow in ENGLISH and TRIG homework and wish that I actually had a life. LIke the life before any of this bulimia shit, this self loathing shit, this fucking manic depressive shit, just plain shit in general.

SHIT.

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MY BFF RESULTS!!!

  • Dec. 4th, 2008 at 7:52 PM
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 HOLY CRAP!!! Britney from "Paris Hilton' My New BFF" is now Paris' NEW BFF! YAYYYYYY! 

I always thought Vanessa was just a crying baby that only got her way when she was pathetic looking.


BRITTANY ON THE OTHER HANDD....hot. not to mention REAL! Vanessa was a fake bitch. 

Britney or Brittany or Brittani or however you spell it <3


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Gotta Love Routine

  • Dec. 2nd, 2008 at 9:40 PM
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I JUST WISH MY BRAIN WOULD JUST SHUT OFF AT ABOUT 10:00 p.m
it's like "SHUT THE FUCK UP and GO TO BED"

<3 i'm such a skeeze




So i'm sooooo glad to be back at school. I don't exactly know why but I am. I guess it's because I'm one of those freaky people who are obsessed with a routine and need to stick to that routine or else they are crazy. AND NO I AM NOT SCHIZO, BIPOLAR, RETARD, or any other thing you might want to call me. I just like the feeling of learning. I haven't felt a craving for knowledge in a long time but my brain was basically begging for it last night so I was siked for school. I'm serious when I say that I always get absolutely no sleep on the day before a school week. My brain just doesn't work that way. IT FUCKING PISSES ME OFF.
 
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look inside

  • Nov. 30th, 2008 at 3:09 PM
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 Things need to change immediately in our fucked up society. I'm serious! I can't stand the fact that we are all so fricking judgemental about every little thing. I can't take it!

I posted a video on facebook not that long ago and apparently that made me gay. WHY?
Why must everything be gay or straight. why must kids my age put people down like this?
Why must everything be fucking torment.

I just want things to change so bad you don't even know. Does anyone else know how it feels to be tormented your entire life? "your a fag" "you're gay" "what a faggot".....it's what I hear everyday and I never even really ask for it either. I'm nice, quite, but yet i understand somewhat where they get their material. It's just I wish they would come up with some new "poke-funs" because i can't really stand hearing the same thing over and over and over and over. it's fricking insane. 

on the flip side my hair smells gorgeous. lawlz~

have a happy fricking thanksgiving p33pZ
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Nick: The Expanded and Uncut edition

  • Oct. 16th, 2008 at 8:56 PM
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i'm so fucking motherfucking pissed right now. I put on my favorite Foo Fighter's shirt on today and I just fucking realized something. (sorry for the language, I'm just really passionate about this), i've completely filled it out and I am like basically bursting out of it.

At the start of my freshman year of high school I weighed around 110-115...ish and it's now October of my Sophomore year and I weigh 120-130 pounds.........HOLY SHIT!!! I gained twenty pounds in a year! How fucking fat am I? I seriously though I recovered and everything from the bulimia and the anorexia but I guess I'm having some second thoughs. I know i'm not fat....and that's what's weird. I CAN'T STAND THAT I'M NOT SKINNY. I'm not FAT by any shake of the stick but I'm not skinny...some may argue that I am but I am seriously not AS skinny as I WAS. I want to be that skinny again. I think it is a much leaner, cleaner, and more meak look. Now I look like....well a jock.

HERE's my puberty list:

6th grade: growth spurt #1 + other things
7th grade: enhancement
8th grade: growth spurt #2 + enhancement + other things
9th grade: growth spurt # 3
10th grade: MAJOR growth spurt + other things


I really don't know if I can deal with this.
My shoulders have broadened.... my voice is deeper, i weigh 20 pounds more than I did in the last year....and i can't stop eating.



I'm so scared of becoming fat....please help.


4 day weekend so YAYZ for me. loves it.

i'm having the BIGGEST CRAVING OF MY LIFE for ruffles.......OMG!


help me withstand this.


the expanded edition of me,

NICK

xoxo

*a kiss a hug a caress a lovebite and a pat*
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lovess it.

  • Aug. 24th, 2008 at 9:11 PM
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</div>
does anyone else want to vote for PARIS!

GO PARIS. PARIS '08!
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bad omen?

  • Aug. 24th, 2008 at 4:04 PM
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I am huge believer in karma...so is it a bad thing that is raining cats and dogs right now? I mean I start my Sophmore year at high school...btw i just got blinded by a purple streak of lightning. It's only 4:06 right now but it actually looks more like 7:06. *iknow...howwouldiknowtheidfference?*

everything is pretty much ready and i'm actually not flipping out that much! is that a good sign?

signs :( love 'em hate 'em. all the same.

b/p free today. that's amazing. i still eat like i'm morbidly obese but I guess it's a start.

is it completely vain of me to hate myself for not having my bones stick out?? my parents of course think that that is weird but I just think that I am not complete without the ribcage. do any of you out there believe in bad omens?
Currently performing at the Audio Overload festival in Anaheim. I'm under a tent with a laptop as we speak.
be sexy and stab yourself with M-A-C lipstick

ciao bitches <33
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